Reclaiming Our Joy
In J.K. Rowling's "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban", the most effective way to neutralize a Boggart (a creature that assumes the form of that which a person fears the most) is laughter.
In the same book, we learn that the incantation to fight off Dementors (frightful creatures that feed from our worst apprehensions) gets its effective power through a powerful happy memory.
In both cases Rowling points at the power of joy to defeat the negative, an effect traditionally posited through millennia of popular wisdom, and validated by modern scientific studies.
Joy and laughter have a long tradition of improving our health (both mental and physical) and lengthening our lives. But despite the well-documented evidence of their beneficial properties, nowadays we seem to have lost our sense of joy and merriment.
Modern comedies are full of sarcasm (the evil relative of humor), and most entertainment include dystopian worlds, stressful situations and levels of violence that surpass what was, until very recently, considered 'harmful to the psyche' by mental health specialists.
Almost at the same time that most newspapers cancelled their Sunday 'funny pages', traditional comic routines have been silenced and censored by cancellation culture, whose adherents feel entitled to attack anything that doesn’t suit their stringent views of political correctness.
In fact, despite our modern liberalism and its promise for a better society, the previous generations had less restraints as to what they could laugh about and were more open to accept all kinds of jokes, even at their own expense.
In that same line, seniors seem to have better sense of humor and more psychological resilience than younger generations - and it’s not hard to see why.
Bullying cases in school are increasing in viciousness at earlier ages, pop music shamelessly extols crime and decadence, and we seem to be besieged by a constant flow of negativity through mass media and social media, an open ground for aggression and abuse shielded behind anonymity and lack of legislation.
The world has grown too serious and seems to have lost its capacity to laugh at itself.
In such scenario, it's not surprising that serious illnesses such as depression, cancer, and substance abuse have experienced a global rise, suicide rates have increased and have begun to include victims at younger ages, and more people than ever are declaring mental health issues.
Perhaps it's time to regain our sense of joy.
How do we do that? Read on. But first, we need to make an important distinction: Joy is NOT Happiness.
Happiness is a mental state, an elusive goal, a philosophy of life.
Joy, on the other hand, is a specific feeling - fleeting, but one that contributes to our overall sense of happiness.
©Pixar
Unfortunately, it's easier to give in to negative emotions than to keep a positive attitude.
Through millennia of evolution, our brains seem to be wired to bestow more relevance to negative events - anger, conflict, controversies, fight or flee responses, etc. - than to positive experiences.
Whether real or imaginary, the negative acts as a warning, keeping us on guard against possible threats to our existence.
However, the helpful mechanism that helped our ancestors to survive and thrive can also backfire and become a hindrance to our mental and physical health.
Negative emotions are addictive, as they raise cortisol (the stress hormone) and adrenaline in our bloodstream, requiring increasingly higher doses in order to get the same response, thus creating a vicious circle from which is hard to break.
If in addition these negative emotions are reinforced and/or rewarded - for instance, through social conventions or expectations -, they become an even harder habit to break.
Positivity, on the other hand, requires a conscious effort to establish and keep.
Video: Bobby McFerrin: Don't worry be happy (3:51)
In 1988, Bobby McFerrin released a song which would become an anthem of positivism: "Don't worry, be happy". The message of the song - performed entirely by McFerrin without any accompanying instruments - is simple: worrying only worsens any situation.
Sadly, after its first positive impact, the song was used along negative images and events, creating shock through contrast and thus tarnishing its original purpose.
This illustrates our tendency to fall into negativity, and how difficult it is to stick to a positive attitude (for fear of being deemed a dreamer, a fool, being accused of having unrealistic expectations, etc.).
Cartoon ©William Haefeli for The New Yorker
As we all know, laughter is not always an indication of joy - we can laugh in mockery, cynically, in censure, in contempt, etc.
There is a place for dark and acerbic humor used in fine doses, but there's also a fine line between a healthy dose of dry humor and concealed spitefulness. For while irony is a sign of wit, cynicism and sarcasm can also be a sign of passive-aggressiveness and other mental issues.
The best way to steer away from the vicious circle of negativity is not to fall into it in the first place.
Negativity should be treated like a red-hot iron: as soon as you notice you're dwelling too long over negative thoughts, bad news, and pessimistic attitudes, you should let them go or they will consume you.
A healthy sense of ridicule is not only a sign of a healthy mind, but it’s an indispensable coping mechanism to sort out the vicissitudes and hardships of life.
And while it’s important not to offend others with our enjoyment, seeing the humor in every situation is also necessary, as an excess of severity and intolerance are not positive either.
Since the dawn of times, humor has been an escape valve for our problems and concerns. For this reason, censoring humor is a measure that causes a negative impact to our mental health.
In this respect, it’s fundamental to learn how to distinguish the intention behind the humor - the benign, harmless fun, from the deliberately offensive or malicious.
Being able to laugh at yourself is a healthy attitude
During the Second World War, the United States Army had a specific budget for troop entertainment, as they rightfully deemed that keeping the morale of their soldiers high would help them in the war effort.
Despite the severity of the global conflict, the artists of that time produced uplifting, merry entertainment, some of which still resonates today with undiminished positivism.
Likewise, even during the harshest times of privation, bombings, and evacuations, the civilian population took time off to listen to music on the radio, start impromptu dances, or escape through art.
And even though Winston Churchill did not reply “What are we fighting for?” to oppose the cut in arts funding in favour of the war effort, he did contest the evacuation of art masterpieces from the National Gallery to Canada.
He seemed to support the notion that art, beauty and joy were necessary to keep the spirit of the nation alive and strong.
Joy is not a luxury - it’s the stuff of life, and it’s essential to our spirit and our good health.
Video: Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive - Bing Crosby & The Andrew Sisters (2:43)
How prone to joy are you?
Evaluate yourself by checking how often you engage in the following actions on an everyday basis. Give yourself one point for every positive affirmation and subtract one point for every negative. Your final result will give you an idea of your Joy quotient.
-Laugh (+2 points if you belly laugh)
-Watch funny entertainment
-Listen to uplifting songs
-Exercise
-Do an activity you enjoy
-Express gratitude
-Express or think of blessings
-Imagine good things (positive outcomes, hopes, wishes come true, etc.)
-Remember happy moments
-Spend quality time with friends and family
-Scowl/frown (-2 points if you growl or fume)
-Watch violent or cynic entertainment
-Criticize
-Worry
-Feel deeply offended/ resented
-Express dissatisfaction
-Express or think ill wishes
-Imagine bad things (disasters, negative outcomes, revenge, etc.)
-Remember upsetting moments
-Spend time checking the news/social media
We are all a mixture of positive and negative, but even if you have a negative score, you can still improve your joy quotient.
Here we give you some easy ideas on where to start:
1.- Make a list of what makes you smile and try to include at least two of these in your every day. Some of the things that make us happy are simple pleasures - a nice cup of coffee in the morning, listening to your favourite song, dancing, playing with your dog, strolling in the park...the list is endless.
If you’re still having trouble figuring out what gives you joy, go back to your childhood memories and remember what used to put a smile on your face - chances are you may still enjoy it.
We usually find joy in the small things
2.- If you're a visual person, make an inspiration board with images that make you smile and place it in an area where you may see it often. You can also make a photo album and keep it handy to browse at any time, and if you're creative, you can create a scrapbook collecting your favourite happy moments.
3.- If you have a hard time remembering good moments in your life, keep a journal! Write down every little good thing that comes your way, however mundane it may seem. Whenever you feel downcast, review your moments of happiness - it will cheer you up.
4.- Avoid negative entertainment. Everything you consume, from food to entertainment, has a direct impact on your health. You may think that you're in control of all those negative images and lyrics, but your subconscious doesn’t distinguish reality from fiction and stores much more information than you may be aware of.
If you're careful with what you put in your mouth, you should also be mindful of what you let into your mind. Violent entertainment may seem cool, but it is damaging to your mental health. Prefer more constructive entertainment.
5.- Create a happy environment. Our environment can have more influence over our mood than we may imagine. Without consciously noticing it, being surrounded by dull colors, sharp edges, harsh light and rough textures may impact negatively on your mood. Conversely, round-edged furniture, bright colors, and soft light will make you feel more at ease and more predisposed to joy.
6.- Value all the things you have. We often take what we have for granted, opening the door to dissatisfaction, envy, and resentment. Instead, focus on what you have and how your life is all the better for it, not on what you lack.
Be happy with what you have
and you'll have plenty to be happy about
- Irish proverb
7.- Control your imagination. Our imagination usually plays a big role in how happy we perceive ourselves. Be mindful of your thoughts as they are the building blocks of your reality.
8.- Keep your whining, complaining, and criticism at bay. For some, complaining is almost a hobby, and even total strangers may often find themselves in agreement when complaining. As the saying goes, misery loves company.
Whining and complaining may make us feel in control during frustrating situations. But although venting in times of extreme stress does serve a useful purpose to release anger, the feeling of empowerment and vindication we may experience afterwards is deceiving and can be addictive.
In addition, nobody likes the company of a frequent complainer, and this negative attitude also takes a toll on the health of the complainer.
9.- Find the humor in life. Humans are imperfect and we make lots of mistakes. Instead of souring over your mishaps, learn to laugh about them.
As the old saying goes - when life gives you lemons, make lemonade! (Or lemon pie!)
Of course, there are events, circumstances and situations in life which are serious and admit no joking, but luckily these are rare. Imposing additional severity and dourness to our lives improves nothing and only ends up sapping the joy out of life.
10.- Sleep well every night. A good night’s sleep is essential to keep in overall good health. Additionally, studies have proven a connection between lack of sleep and mood shifts. Try to keep a regular routine of at least 7 hours of sound sleep every night in order to increase your chances for a happy and healthy life.
11.- Control your sugar levels. According to medical studies, excess of sugar can make you angry or depressed. Lowering your sugar consumption may contribute to your happiness and general well-being.
12.- Be flexible. Inflexible people make themselves miserable and often create storms in a teacup, but the truth is, few things are a matter of life-or-death. Learn to assess what is really important and be more indulgent with the rest.
13.- Think in terms of energy. What should you give your energy to? Will staring at your screen checking vicious comments and bad news in social media improve your life in any way? How else could you invest your time and energy towards your happiness?
14.- Share your joy. A joy shared is a joy multiplied. In addition, sharing with others and helping others is a sure way to increase your own joy.
Invest your time and energy wisely towards your happiness
Positive thinking requires some re-education and habit-forming.
Abraham Lincoln once said: “Folks are usually as happy as they make up their minds to be”, and the American writer Joyce Meyer added, “Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may be given a cactus, but you don't have to sit on it”.
Despite of what it may seem at times, our happiness lies in our own hands. Even if we’re going through a sour patch, we can still add a touch of joy into our lives.
It all starts with our perspective, our attitude, and our choices - give importance to what it's really important, find joy in the little things in life, and value what you have.
Inviting joy into our lives is not becoming a different person or turning into a Pollyanna - it’s rescuing the unspoiled sense of wonder and excitement for life we had in our earlier years.
Forget about the tyranny of 'what people will say' and what social media dictates - give yourself permission to be silly, goofy, and let your inner child come out to play.
Open your door to joy and merriment, and joy will come to you.
Ode to Joy, by Ludwig van Beethoven
NOTE: If you’ve tried every suggestion in the book and you still find yourself feeling inexplicably sad, consider seeking professional help.
To Learn More
* Want to learn more about the benefits of thinking positively and tips on how to do it? Check this useful article from Healthline:
* Need more ideas on how to avoid negativity? Check these 40 suggestions, applicable both at the workplace and in your everyday life.
* Want to learn more about the role of your subconscious in your happiness? Read the classic book on the subject, written by Dr. Joseph Murphy, “The power of the subconscious mind”.
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