The Elusive Pursuit of Happiness
The search for happiness has been a constant for humanity. Since the earliest days of civilization, philosophies, cults, religions, theories, social movements and even mathematical formulas have been created, all promising a happy life.
In recent decades, and thanks in part to an increasing influx of iconography from the media showing unrealistic images of perfection, happiness has almost become an obligation: we MUST be happy - Now! Always!
Or should we?
One of the cleverest messages from the Pixar animated film "Inside Out" is that Sadness, as every other emotion, plays an important part in our development. Therefore, we don't have to be always happy - not only it's unrealistic, but it's also unhealthy.
In fact, neuroscientists have posited that the feeling of 'permanent bliss' is actually the result of a faulty amygdala (the organ in the brain responsible for processing negative and positive emotions).
If the right side of the amygdala is damaged, all the neural processes will be carried out by the left side, which governs the processing of positive emotions, thus translating all experiences as positive.
Also, those who are continually cheerful in spite of the situation (something which psychologists have come to call "the Pollyanna principle", based on the namesake children's book.), can not only come across as annoying, but also be perceived as insensitive to other people's feelings.
But, what is Happiness?
We all seem to have a similar, but different concept.
There are more than 45 different definitions associated with the term in the dictionary: cheer, joy, glee, contentment, enjoyment, bliss, well-being, pleasure, seventh heaven...
Most of us identify happiness with this image:
What is your definition of happiness? Is 'joy' the same as 'happiness'? Can 'contentment' be 'happiness'? Is 'satisfaction' enough, or is 'enrapture' the most perfect definition of 'happiness'?
No two people seem to think alike about these centuries-old questions.
One thing is certain, though: your idea of what happiness is will determine how close you are to being happy or not. Those who relate contentment with happiness will be happier than those who equate enrapture with the concept.
From the dawn of civilization, philosophers, mystics, thinkers, and scientists have joined in the study and research of 'happiness' in order to dilucidate what it is and how to attain it.
Here's some notable quotes on happiness over the centuries:
"There is no path to happiness. Happiness is the path" - Buddha
"Happiness is not at the top of the mountain, but in how to climb" - Confucius
"The happiness of life depends upon the quality of your thoughts" - Marcus Aurelius
"Caring about the happiness of others, we find our own" - Plato
"A happy life consists in tranquility of mind" - Marcus Tullius Cicero
"Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination" - Mark Twain
"True happiness is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose" - Hellen Keller
Happiness is, in great part, a matter of perception
A more modern approach links expectations and happiness, concluding that lowering our expectations should increase our happiness.
But this 'formula' doesn't work for many, pointing out that lowering expectations too much would lead us to pessimism and negativity, and that having no expectations at all would only lead to mediocritiy.
In truth, having either expectations that are either too high or too low will impact our satisfaction negatively. However, the approach aims to the core of the problem: happiness is, more often than not, a problem of perception.
An example of this, is the fact that some of the countries with the happiest people are also the poorest. For instance, according to the Gallup Global Happiness Index of 2017, the first five countries ranked as 'happiest' were: Fiji, Colombia, Philipines, Mexico and Vietnam.
In addition, some people with severe physical disabilities, such as Hellen Keller, Nick Vujicic, Stephen Hawkins, and Mattie Stephanek, carried out happy, fulfilled lives in spite of facing hindrances that most of us can't even imagine.
How can that be?
The answer seems to be that happiness resides not only in perception (how we see ourselves and our surroundings), but also in what we consider to be important (the things upon which we measure our happiness).
Happiness is a complex subject, composed of several different interconnecting parameters.
For instance, having always everything that we want does not make us happy, but entitled and hard to please. Living an easy life devoid of hardships doesn't make us happy either, but disconnected from reality, unempathetic, and blind to the needs of others.
Part of what 'happiness' is consists in the delicate balance of ever-shifting factors.
In order to consider ourselves 'happy' we must have all our basic needs covered, but also a sense of security and support, of belonging to a group, and a sense of purpose and accomplishment given through a useful occupation.
Also, as the 'social animals' we are, human happiness is not an individual achievement, but a communal effort.
In fact, regardless of culture, location, or financial situation, all the societies that rank the highest in levels of happiness have one factor in common: their members have a strong sense of community, of cooperation, of security, and trust in each other. This culture of unity creates a net of support that eases the life of its members, strengthens social interaction, and contributes to lower their stress levels.
The opposite is also true: regardless of their location, culture and economic situation, the societies that occupy the lowest echelons in the happiness ranks also present high levels of mistrust, corruption, anxiety, discrimination, violence, and division among its members.
Several researches, such as those carried out by Professor Kipling D. Williams, have studied the link between ostracism and violent behaviour. Their conclusions point towards a definite link between loneliness, the sense of being ignored or cast aside, and a deep sense of fear, anger and frustration arising in the individual as natural defense mechanism.
In order to be happy we need to have good company, feel loved and supported - but we also need to love and support others.
In spite of this, most people in the Western world, and countries with this influence, still follow the convention that happiness is given by factors such as wealth, ownership, power, and social status.
At the same time, these societies produce the most images pressing consumers to achieve unreachable levels of satisfaction.
In order to escape the 'pressure of happiness', many people have opted for alternatives to this concept, turning, for instance, towards mindfulness and meditation in order to be more aware of the present moment, becoming thus more grateful and, in turn, happier.
Others have embraced 'Hygge', the Finnish concept that proposes the enjoyment and satisfaction in the small things of life, such as having a quiet moment watching the rain, or sharing a coffee with friends.
Others have become Minimalists, in the belief that 'less is more' and that the accumulation of things does not bring happiness, but rather cause us to be permanently anxious and dissatisfied.
Some take the philosophical approach, stating that 'happiness is an attitude'. But, what is the right attitude for happiness?
Here are some suggestions:
* Have realistic expectations.
* Keep a healthy lifestyle, and an equally healthy sense of humor.
* Appreciate everything that you have, however little.
* Do not compare yourself to others, specially negatively.
* Refrain from criticism and complaining. Both become negative habits hard to break. Instead, practice acceptance.
* Keep yourself busy and engaged. A great deal of satisfaction in life comes from feeling useful, fulfilling a purpose.
* Disconnect from the media. Instead, be in touch with your surroundings: the people and creatures in it, and your interactions with the world around you.
* Avoid rumination and bogging down in negative feelings.
* Remember that everything is temporary. This will help you keep things in perspective.
* Keep a close group of meaningful relationships: friends, neighbors, colleagues, etc.
* Keep in touch with nature.
* Try altruism. Helping and sharing with others without expecting anything in return creates an instant sense of well-being.
Many also make a connection between Faith and happiness, pointing out that those who believe in a higher Being helping them and watching after them, feel comforted and supported, more secure and protected.
Finally, Happiness is not only an attitude, but also a habit.
If you make it a habit to have a positive attitude, be mindful and grateful, you'll improve your life without even striving for it, by simply making it a part of your everyday routine, an act as natural as breathing.
Since what constitutes 'happy' changes for every person, in constant interaction with the surrounding environment, there is no set formula for happiness; and there is also no such thing as 'perfect happiness'. Our brains can't seem to handle continuous bliss - we are simply not wired for it.
Life is a ride full of emotions, each and all of them with value of their own.
Happiness is elusive, and shoud not be the only goal in our lives. In fact, the more we may strive for it, the farther away it may get from us. But we can come closer to attain it by remembering that our actions and attitudes play a decisive part in the quality of our lives.
Whatever method you decide to choose in your quest for happiness, you can be assured that a great deal of what happiness is will always be in your hands.
To learn more
*To learn 3 facts of brain processing that impact our happiness, and how we can become effectively happier, watch the following video by Dr. Amit Sood from the Global Center for Resiliency and Well Being:
Video - A Very Happy Brain (4:23)
*For a more detailed information on how our brain health influences our happiness, read the book "The Happy Brain: The Science of Where Happiness Comes From and Why", by neuroscientist and comedian Dean Burnett.
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Sources: Psychology Today, Annual Review of Psychology, Mayo Clinic, The New York Times, PNAS.org, HumanPsychology.com.au.
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