You may have heard about the ‘hard skills’ and ‘soft skills’ theory.
Hard skills are those specific abilities that we learn through training, study, and work experience. They are quantifiable, measurable, and indispensable to execute specific tasks. Some examples of hard skills are command of foreign languages, numeric ability, or a degree in any area.
Soft skills, on the other hand, are personal attributes or attitudes learned in the ‘school of life’, non-transferable, and non-measurable, and yet they are vital to sustain and bolster any human group.
Unlike the micro-cosmos of the workplace, society requires a different set of soft skills, intended to cover the different aspects of our existence.
Some cultures, such as the Japanese, Bhutanese, or Nigerian, possess soft attributes that belong to their idiosyncrasy. However, either through heritage or learning, every society can benefit from the application of soft skills among its members.
Here we present you with ten soft skills indispensables to live in society, attitudes and abilities without which harmonious coexistence in any group or community would not be possible.
1. Consideration
Confucius stated that “consideration is the basis of a good life, a good society”. One of the cardinal rules of Christianity is “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”, a piece of advice that is also echoed in the ancient Latin proverb “consideration is the parent of wisdom”.
Consideration is the cornerstone of life in society: we live with others, not only among others. As such, a degree of collective sensitivity should always be present in our minds and guide our actions.
The opposite of consideration is egoism, which often manifests itself in the abuse of others. Societies that lack consideration among its members are often nihilistic, and prey to severe social cankers such as extreme individualism, anarchy, brutality, etc.
How to express consideration? Using courtesy and good manners, thinking about other people’s needs, treating everyone as we would like to be treated, etc.
Also, bear in mind that consideration is also a two-way street: only those who bestow it have the right to demand it.
2. Empathy
Similar to consideration, empathy plays a fundamental role in human relations.
Putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes is an exercise of
imagination that help us understand others, especially in situations that require an emotional connection, such as the resolution of conflicts, response to emergencies, addressing of complaints, etc.
Having a well-developed sense of empathy allows us to work well with others, establish solid social relations, and even anticipate potential problems.
Empathy is so indispensable to our successful interaction with others that we are naturally programmed to be empathetic, by subconsciously copying the other person’s body language when we want to establish a connection.
Empathy not only allows us approach others and understand what they feel, but it also expands our social and emotional awareness, making us richer, more complete human beings.
3. Negotiation Skills
In the workplace, this ability refers to achieving the most profitable result from a deal or transaction.
However, in the social context, the ability to negotiate refers to the capacity of a group or individual to find a common agreement, often putting the benefit of the group over personal gain.
Skilled negotiators know that finding a satisfying agreement requires patience, perseverance, and high interpersonal skills (also called emotional intelligence), in order to persuade and to accept conditions while retaining the core of what wants to be achieved.
“Everything is negotiable”, said Herb Cohen, and life often requires a good deal of negotiation in order to obtain what we want, without causing costly disagreements and disrupting the balance of the group or community.
4. Ability to Concede
Being a good loser is as important as being a good winner.
This is perhaps one of the most misunderstood soft skills, and yet it is vital for the harmony of any group.
Nobody likes to lose, but we can’t always win, and sometimes defeat is almost unbearably bitter. However, insisting in our claims can make us come across as problematic, and can also aggravate an already difficult situation.
Those who recognize their own mistakes and know how to accept defeat gracefully, usually
earn the esteem of those who surround them. Using a skilled combination of humility and interpersonal intelligence, people with the ability to concede act like the oil that unties even the hardest knots.
The ability to concede should not be mistaken for cowardice. Instead, it’s a sign of sensibility and high social intelligence. Just like negotiation skills, this ability requires the suppression of the ego in favor of a cause, and in no few cases a degree of honor and moral rectitude.
The ability to concede is a peacemaking ability, one capable of defusing conflicts, building bridges of understanding among the involved parts, and finding agreements even in the bitterest misunderstandings.
It is a rare skill, one much needed nowadays, and one that we should nurture more.
5. Responsibility
A hallmark of maturity, responsibility is, however, a skill necessary at any age.
Honoring our promises and compromises, fulfilling our duties, and accepting the consequences of our acts and decisions are only a few of the forms in which responsibility manifests in everyday life.
Responsibility in the members of a society provides consistency and reliability to the entire community, so that it can progress and thrive.
If you think that responsibility is not that important, imagine a restaurant in which the menu changes depending on the mood of the chef, where they charge prices at random, where the staff goes to work only when they feel like it, and where the opening hours change depending on the weather.
The same example applies to every group or community, in which each member has a role to play.
In addition, responsibility builds trust. As a general rule, those who are irresponsible are also unreliable, and a society in which its members do not trust each other inevitably ends up in chaos and fragmentation.
6. Communication Skills
We usually relate communication with speaking, but communication is a far more complex skill, and we use it instinctively in a variety of ways - from the emojis we send to our friends to the presentation we give at work. Some silences are even more eloquent than words.
Moreover, communicating is not merely ‘responding’ - even the way we dress and the gestures we use when we speak communicate messages to those around us.
Listening is also part of any effective communication, as important as the message itself. A communicator that does not listen ends up becoming a lone speaker, and his/her message never reaches its intended audience.
When the members of a group or community do not communicate well, misunderstandings and conflicts are likely to happen. Therefore, having good communication skills is essential to guarantee the harmony of a community.
How to communicate effectively? Follow the basic principles: choose your words carefully, listen actively and attentively, and respond appropriately in terms that your intended audience may understand.
7. Respect
Respect is one of the main pillars of civilized life. Respect towards others, but also respect towards ourselves.
Much has been said about respect, but too often we forget that when we disrespect others, we are also disrespecting ourselves.
In recent years, anarchy has gained ground in many societies, to the point of being deemed a desirable attitude. But this perception and the actions it fosters only destroys the fabric of society and degrades the foundations of our own well-being.
Respect, of course, must be earned. Many people demand respect but do not bestow it to others. A good rule of thumb is the motto “Respect in order to be respected” - we can’t respect someone who does not respect us, and those who do not respect can’t expect to be respected.
8. Cooperation
We may all have heard that we need leaders. ‘Strong leadership’ is often listed among the top ten soft skills for the workplace. Schools, colleges, and even the workplace seem to be on a continuous race to find leaders, teaching leadership skills from a young age, and fostering command skills.
However, perhaps we have been putting too much emphasis on leadership and forgetting the bigger picture. For, while a capable leadership is important to achieve goals and maintain a group’s stability, leaders are nothing without an equally competent team to work with.
Not everyone can be a leader, but everyone at some point has to pull up their sleeves and work as part of a team. Thus, it is essential to know how to play well with others, putting aside our ego, and work hand in hand towards the achievement of a common goal for the benefit of the community.
All the greatest enterprises and achievements in human history have been the fruit of cooperation, and no society can hold together in harmony without the joint effort of all its members.
9. Kindness
“Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see”, said Mark Twain, illustrating the idea that kindness should be bestowed to all.
Courtesy and good manners are two ways of expressing kindness, consideration and respect, and are essential to a harmonious coexistence in any civilized society, particularly as cities become more crowded, and the opportunities for confrontation multiply with the prevalence of fake news, social media, etc.
The fabric of societies without kindness is more fragile, they are often perceived as hostile and unsafe, and run the risk of being ruthless even against its own members. In addition, the members of these societies usually have a high prevalence of mental illness, higher rates of suicide, and suffer serious health issues.
Italy has launched an interesting initiative, the ‘Kindness project’. In 2020, the cultural association Cor et Amor launched the initiative
Construiamo Gentilezza (Building Kindness) in an effort to foster kind attitudes and actions within the communities.
According to the association, the regular practice of kindness becomes a habit, and if each individual acts with kindness, communities will be more welcoming, and people will be happier.
The initiative includes the benevolent effort of different private and public organizations, as well as individuals, and is an example worthy of being replicated around the world.
10. Tolerance
How much tolerance is too much?
“Tolerance is the only real test of civilization”, said once the British writer Sir Arthur Helps. However, tolerance is a double edge sword, as Fyodor Dostoievski warned when he wrote that, “Tolerance will reach such a level that intelligent people will be banned from thinking, so as not to offend the imbeciles.”
In recent years we have seen a strong emphasis to being open-minded, liberal, and indulgent with attitudes and behaviors that were, until recently, disapproved. But while tolerance is cardinal to a well-balanced and harmonious life in any society, both an excess of tolerance and the lack of it generates problems.
So, how much tolerance is ‘too much’?
A good rule of thumb is the old adage ‘your right ends where my right begins’. When it comes to tolerance, common sense should be our compass. Attitudes, ideas, and actions that damage the fabric of society, or that go against the stability and well-being of its members, justifiably should not be tolerated.
As the former member of the European Parliament, thinker, and environmentalist Sir James Goldsmith once stated, “Tolerance is a tremendous virtue, but the immediate neighbors of tolerance are apathy and weakness.”
Let us not allow the use of tolerance become the catalyst to destroy our own well-being.
Most soft skills are learned at home, reinforced at school, and fostered by our environment. But for these teachings to thrive and endure in society, they must be actively supported by all of these actors.
Many schools in the United States have implemented socio-emotional learning in their curriculum, teaching young children to develop their own soft skills, in an effort to build better citizens and more harmonious communities. But these lessons will need the combined efforts of parents and the entire community in order to take root and flourish.
As Frank Delano Roosevelt once declared, “If civilization is to survive, we must cultivate the science of human relationships - the ability of all peoples of all kinds to live together in the same world, at peace.
To Learn More
To read more about Soft Skills for children, visit the following link:
https://learn.podium.school/personality-development/soft-skills-importance-children/
Related Articles
Individualism
Indifference - The Silent Epidemic
It Takes a Village
Comments
Post a Comment